July 28, 2009

Unsolved: Self-Cannibalism

Would the human brain
allow somebody to eat themselves
until they wounded themselves fatally?

I somehow doubt it.

I've read some accounts on Wikipedia, but while all of them are disgusting none of them involve, say, eating your own lung or something like that. The only situation I could think of that could force somebody to auto-cannibalize is when they're being threatened with death, and it wouldn't make sense for them to do the deed themselves.

So yeah, if you can find an account of somebody eating themselves to death post it and we can call this closed.

February 27, 2007

Unsolved: Lincoln vs. JFK

Who would win in a fight to the death, with both men at their prime physical conditions, respectively - Abraham Lincoln or John F. Kennedy?
The fight of the millenium? Mayhaps.

I'm serious. Yeah, Lincoln has the reach, but I really want to know who would completely slaughter the other person. Kennedy was pretty ripped, if memory serves, and Lincoln wasn't anything to scoff at, either. Both men had super-hot wives... right? I feel like a guy as awesome as Abraham Lincoln must have had his pick of the litter, right? Maybe not. Actually, now that I think of it, I remember hearing that his wife was merely average.

Place of Birth:
Abraham "Slavery Killa" Lincoln - near Hodgenville, Kentucky, United States
J "Lady Killa" FK - Brookline, Massachusetts, United States

Lincoln - 6 feet, 3 and three-quarter inches (1.92m)
JFK - 6 feet, even (1.83m)

Occupations Prior to Becoming President:
Lincoln - Lawyer, Saloon owner, Steamboat Pilot (all of which are awesome until you remember that James Buchanan was a friggin' PRIZEFIGHTER before he was President)
JFK - Writer

Lincoln - Deist, although there is some controversy about whether or not he converted to Protestant Christianity prior to his death.
JFK - Roman Catholic

Children Birthed:
Lincoln - 4, all by Mary Ann Todd Lincoln; Robert Todd Lincoln, Edward Baker "Eddie" Lincoln, William Wallace "Willie" Lincoln, Thomas "Tad" Lincoln.
JFK - JFK actually had terrible luck birthing children. One, to be named Arabella, was stillborn. Another, Patrick Bouvier Kennedy, only survived two days before succumbing to a respiratory disease. John Fitzgerald Kennedy, Jr. lived for nearly 39 years before dying in a plane crash. Caroline Bouvier Kennedy Schlossberg is the only surviving Kennedy child.

Military Service:

Lincoln - Captain, Illinois Militia, Black Hawk War (BAD ASS!)
JFK - Lieutenant, United States Navy, World War II (BAD ASS!, but less so)

Lincoln - Became a lawyer after independent study; never attended law school.
JFK - London School of Economics; transferred to Princeton University; transferred to Harvard, graduated; attended Stanford Graduate School of business, but didn't graduate.

Pets Owned:
Lincoln - Nanny and Nanko, goats; Jack, turkey; Fido, dog; Horse, horse.
JFK - Charlie, Welsh Terrier; Tom Kitten, cat; Robin, canary; Bluebelle and Marybelle, parakeets; Macaroni, Tex, and Leprechaun, ponies; Debbie and Billie, hamsters; Pushinka, mutt; Shannon, Irish Cocker Spaniel; Wolf, mutt; Butterfly, White Tips, Blackie, and Streaker, all offspring of Pushinka and Charlie; Zsa Zsa, rabbit; Sardar, horse.

Thwarted Assassination Attempts:
Lincoln - None. He totally died the first go-around.
JFK - 1. Richard Paul Pavlick, a 73 year-old former postal worker, planned to drive a dynamite-strapped 1950 Buick into Kennedy's vehicle but decided not to when he saw JFK bidding his wife and daughter goodbye.

Age at Death:
Lincoln - 56 years, 62 days (20,516 days)
JFK - 46 years, 117 days (16,978 days)

I dunno, guys. This one is really up in the air. I mean, on the one hand Lincoln owned his own saloon, piloted a steamboat, had four kids, was a self-taught lawyer, was born God-knows-where, and was way tall. On the other hand, however, Kennedy had a soul of stone by the time his kids all died, and had about a thousand times more pets than Abe. Really, I don't know.

Also, in case anybody was confused, this hypothetical death match would be weaponless, no shoes, shirts, or belts, and in the crater of an almost-erupting volcano.


February 20, 2007

Unsolved: Earth's Rotation Reversing

What would happen the day the Earth started rotating the opposite direction?

Wytfliet's map of the world, from 1598, published in The Scottish Geographical Magazine Vol. XVI, No. 1, 1900.

This is the question that made me want to start this thing in the first place, because really, I have no idea how to go about finding this out. Are there even scientists who study this sort of thing? I mean, I know there are people who study what would happen if the magnetic poles reversed (even though that one is more of a "when" than an "if"), and there are people who study what would happen if the ocean's currents switched directions, but people who study what would happen if the Earth started rotating in the opposite direction?

I'm more curious about what would happen on the very day it happened, although any long-term effects would be excellent, as well. Would the day be longer? Would righteous storms immediately form, causing fire to rain down on the cities and forests? How long would it take for the weather patterns to correct themselves? What would the animals do? Plants?

Bonus points: What would happen if the moon started rotating in the opposite direction? Anything at all? I haven't thought about this one that much.